Author Topic: Just Joking  (Read 5589 times)

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Offline packerzrule

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Re: Just Joking
« Reply #100 on: April 19, 2013, 01:33:31 PM »

I told a blonde gal a blonde joke.....................and she didn't get it.

I laughed so hard I blew snot
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Offline bondkbond

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Re: Just Joking
« Reply #101 on: April 23, 2013, 01:21:06 PM »
I told a blonde gal a blonde joke.....................and she didn't get it.

I laughed so hard I blew snot

I sure hope snot is not your dog, Pack!           grin1

Offline packerzrule

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Re: Just Joking
« Reply #102 on: April 23, 2013, 01:23:07 PM »
 rofl
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Offline Randy

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Re: Just Joking
« Reply #103 on: April 24, 2013, 11:55:45 AM »
I sure hope snot is not your dog, Pack!           grin1

Funniest post on this thread, bar none!

Offline packerzrule

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Re: Just Joking
« Reply #104 on: April 24, 2013, 12:29:58 PM »
An elderly man is walking in the park and as he nears the lagoon, he hears "Hey buddy"
He looks around and doesn't see anyone so he continues his walk.
He again hears "Hey buddy.  PSST, over here"
He looks down only to see a frog.  The frog says "Pick me up,  I have something to tell you"
With that, he bends over and picks up the frog gently with both hands and holds it up to his face so he can look into it's eyes.
The frog says "I am really a buxom 20 year old nymphomaniac who fell victim to an evil spell which turned me into this frog.  All I need is for someone to kiss me to restore me back to human form.  Whomever that is, I will be their sex slave for life"
The man thought for a moment, then put the frog in his pocket and started again on his way.
The frog says "Didn't you hear what I just told you?. Kiss me and I will turn into your beautiful sex slave for all eternity"
The man says, "I heard you allright.  But at my age, it is more fun having a talking frog"
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Offline Paul4Cats

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Re: Just Joking
« Reply #105 on: April 24, 2013, 01:10:40 PM »
southcarolina1 southcarolina1 southcarolina1    kentucky1  kentucky1  kentucky1

Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream.

Offline packerzrule

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Re: Just Joking
« Reply #106 on: April 24, 2013, 01:36:28 PM »
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Offline bondkbond

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Re: Just Joking
« Reply #107 on: April 25, 2013, 01:00:47 PM »
Buddy of mine was up to my place and my St.Bernard was lickin his genitals and my buddy says "Wish I could do that!"  I replied " I'm sure if you give him a burger and scratch his ears he'd probably let ya!"

Offline packerzrule

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Re: Just Joking
« Reply #108 on: April 25, 2013, 01:09:51 PM »

A man walks into his doctor's office and puts a note on the table for the doctor to read. It said, "I can't talk! Help me!"

The doctor nodded sagely, and instructed the man to put his thumb on the table. The man thinks to himself that his thumb has nothing to do with his inability to talk, but he does as the doctor ordered.

The doctor quickly picked up a big book and whacks the man's thumb with it as hard as he could.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" the man yelled.

"Good, good," the doctor said. "Come back tomorrow and we'll work on the 'B'."
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Offline metabolik13

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Re: Just Joking
« Reply #109 on: April 27, 2013, 02:54:26 AM »
Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker, and one was a homosexual sex addict.

The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die."

The men left the doctor's office, each convinced that he would never again indulge himself in his vice.

While walking toward the subway for their return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar. The alcoholic, hearing the loud music and seeing the lights, could not stop himself. His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey. No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead.

His companions, somewhat shaken up, left the bar, realizing how seriously they must take the doctor's words.

As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning. The homosexual looked at the chain smoker and said, "If you bend over to pick that up, we're both dead."
   

 Statistics are often used as a drunk uses a light pole: For support rather than illumination.

Offline packerzrule

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Re: Just Joking
« Reply #110 on: May 04, 2013, 11:04:43 PM »
‘Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl’.

The priest asks, ‘Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?’

‘Yes, Father, it is.’

‘And who was the girl you were with?’

‘I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation’.

“Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?’

‘I cannot say.’

‘Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?’

‘I’ll never tell.’

‘Was it Nina Capelli?’

‘I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.’

‘Was it Cathy Piriano?’

‘My lips are sealed.’

‘Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?’

‘Please, Father, I cannot tell you.’

The priest sighs in frustration. ‘You’re very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.’

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, ‘What’d you get?’

‘Four months vacation and five good leads.’
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Offline Zimmy07

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Re: Just Joking
« Reply #111 on: May 17, 2013, 04:38:21 PM »
Four months vacation and five good leads
Nice!

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.

 I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be
 punished.  To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me was screams of laughter.