Author Topic: How to start a fight  (Read 4939 times)

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Offline DeeHawkz23

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #25 on: February 13, 2013, 11:32:57 PM »
This might be the best thread ever..if anyone needs advice on being a dick,,,let me know..I run the market on these things! rofl
"I, too, once dabbled in Pacifism."

"In Heaven, there is no beer,  that's why we drink it here"
iowa1 chc3 chi4 min1 alabama1 We love you RJ!

Offline River Rat

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #26 on: February 14, 2013, 11:41:34 AM »
My daughter and I have been having "Spider Wars" with some rubber spiders and hiding them on each other.

Let me tell you, tying a rubber spider to a piece of fishing line, pining the other end of the line to the ceiling, then setting said spider on the top of a mostly closed bedroom door to "launch" when the door is opened ...... is VERY effective on a 9 year old girl.  grin1


Went out last night and got really wasted. 
I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK.

Offline DeeHawkz23

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #27 on: February 14, 2013, 11:45:46 AM »
My daughter and I have been having "Spider Wars" with some rubber spiders and hiding them on each other.

Let me tell you, tying a rubber spider to a piece of fishing line, pining the other end of the line to the ceiling, then setting said spider on the top of a mostly closed bedroom door to "launch" when the door is opened ...... is VERY effective on a 9 year old girl.  grin1

RR..try putting a fake spider in the silverware drawer....I literally almost gave the ex Mrs Dee a heart attack with that one...as I said I have a monopoly on pranks that get you a night on the couch! haha1
"I, too, once dabbled in Pacifism."

"In Heaven, there is no beer,  that's why we drink it here"
iowa1 chc3 chi4 min1 alabama1 We love you RJ!

Offline River Rat

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #28 on: February 14, 2013, 11:54:23 AM »
RR..try putting a fake spider in the silverware drawer....I literally almost gave the ex Mrs Dee a heart attack with that one...as I said I have a monopoly on pranks that get you a night on the couch! haha1

487 487 487

No no no, Mrs. Rat can NOT be a victom, have I mentioned she is a black belt candidate in karate?  That night on the couch would be accompanied by an ice bag and crutches.  rofl


Went out last night and got really wasted. 
I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK.

Offline bondkbond

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #29 on: February 14, 2013, 12:03:11 PM »
 rofl


I once had a dead plant sent to my ex's work place. I bet her co-workers had the best laugh with that one. She isn't liked there too much either.  lol

Offline DeeHawkz23

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #30 on: February 14, 2013, 12:04:07 PM »
487 487 487

No no no, Mrs. Rat can NOT be a victom, have I mentioned she is a black belt candidate in karate?  That night on the couch would be accompanied by an ice bag and crutches.  rofl

haha1 Yeah bud, you should probably abstain from any of my ideas then...lol  Another good spider one, is after you get the tissue to kill a spider..take it in the bathroom and throw it away...then proceed to grab new tissue and walk out and throw it at her....the ex's vertical leap would have made LeBron James jealous... 487
"I, too, once dabbled in Pacifism."

"In Heaven, there is no beer,  that's why we drink it here"
iowa1 chc3 chi4 min1 alabama1 We love you RJ!

Offline bondkbond

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #31 on: February 14, 2013, 12:05:43 PM »
I guy at city volleyball would mess with my magnetic business signs on my vehicle over and over so I put an add in the paper and listed his truck real cheap and told them to call after 11:00 pm.  LOL, he didnt sleep for a week!

Offline DeeHawkz23

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #32 on: February 14, 2013, 12:12:24 PM »
I guy at city volleyball would mess with my magnetic business signs on my vehicle over and over so I put an add in the paper and listed his truck real cheap and told them to call after 11:00 pm.  LOL, he didnt sleep for a week!
That is awesome, Bondy! Here's another good one I did...made an ad on Craigslist under the casual encounters section..."M4M...my stud finder broke, so I need your help! Under 10 inches, no need for a response...call anytime, the back door is always open...winky face."  Then I put my buddies # at the bottom...29 missed calls and 70 text messages later, he realized what was going on....I let him punch me for that one 487 487
"I, too, once dabbled in Pacifism."

"In Heaven, there is no beer,  that's why we drink it here"
iowa1 chc3 chi4 min1 alabama1 We love you RJ!

Offline bondkbond

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #33 on: February 14, 2013, 12:13:50 PM »


                         LMAOA

Beautiful!!

Offline bondkbond

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #34 on: February 14, 2013, 12:22:30 PM »
I'd have to say this one could probably never work as good as it did again.

I walked into the grocery store and noticed my employee/friend and his wife shopping about half way down an isle. I hurried and went into the next isle and stopped about half way down and looked up and there was a P/A speaker directly above me. I gisguised my voice and asked "would Brian ********** please come to the front please, Brian  ********** to the front " and I even did the beep afterwards! I ran down to the end of my isle and peaked around the corner and he walked up to the front and said "I'm Brian *********"
She looked at him like   "who the f**k cares"!?  Oh I started laughing out loud and he turned around just beet red then seen me. It was just perfect.

Offline Peter Gozintite

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #35 on: February 14, 2013, 01:08:15 PM »
When we were kids, the grocery store had a pa phone right by the flower stand, that just happened to be at the end of the cookie isle. We would go and wait for someone to pick up a box of whatever and then say into the PA," Maam, put down the ding dongs, youve clearly had enough"
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Offline River Rat

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #36 on: February 14, 2013, 08:32:14 PM »
All of those are priceless.

Back in the day (Mid 80's) one of my collage roommates was in a young republicans club.  They would let him know when a meeting was by putting a flyer in our mailbox.  Also on campus was a club ........ Yep..... Gays, Lesbians, and Friends.  Their meetings were posted on bulliten boards around campus.

You guessed it.  I did a FINE job at making a flyer, pre-photo shop.  He was there about 5 minuites before he realized it was the wrong club.  grin1


Went out last night and got really wasted. 
I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK.

Offline DeeHawkz23

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #37 on: February 14, 2013, 08:56:36 PM »
Crush up a laxative and put in your friends drink...then super glue the toilet lid down....warning...do not do this at your own residence...I repeat not at your own residence...classic line.."I think I just chit my pants!:
"I, too, once dabbled in Pacifism."

"In Heaven, there is no beer,  that's why we drink it here"
iowa1 chc3 chi4 min1 alabama1 We love you RJ!

Offline River Rat

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #38 on: February 15, 2013, 06:43:26 AM »
Crush up a laxative and put in your friends drink...then super glue the toilet lid down....warning...do not do this at your own residence...I repeat not at your own residence...classic line.."I think I just chit my pants!:

Another variation is to put the laxitive in someones lunch/snack.  Then put an old pair of jeans and work boots in the stall, lock the stall door and crawl under.   ( Don't get me started on machine shop pranks )  grin1


Went out last night and got really wasted. 
I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK.

Offline bondkbond

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #39 on: February 15, 2013, 08:05:47 AM »
 haha1 haha1

I just had to do it last night. I took my gal out for supper at Outback just after we finished eating she sneezed. I told her she had a chunk of potato on her nose. LOL, almost instant panic.

Offline bondkbond

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #40 on: February 15, 2013, 08:08:21 AM »
I used to glue the stapler and other things down on my receptionists desk. LOL, she got me back big by shrink wrapping my truck when I was at volleyball. She done well!

Offline Peter Gozintite

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #41 on: February 17, 2013, 12:40:31 PM »
We had one of those incredibly anal retentive guys wel worked with in a steel yard. He had one of those stanly lunch boxes with the matching thermos that set on top of the box. He had it for years, but it still looked brand new, like he washed inside and out every day. So we chipped in and bought the identical lunch box and screwed to a bench in the locker/break room. He came in and went to pick it up and freaked out," WTF did you guys do to my lunch box?" at the top of his lungs.
Another guy had a sledge hammer and said," let me get that for you henry" and smashed off the bench into a thousand pieces. I thought he was going to slaughter all of us. When the boss brought his orginal box in he was still pissed that anyone had touched his lunch box to begin with and complained about what a waste of money it was to smash the new one we bought for the prank.
What'd I miss?
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Offline River Rat

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #42 on: February 17, 2013, 06:04:17 PM »
We had one of those incredibly anal retentive guys wel worked with in a steel yard. He had one of those stanly lunch boxes with the matching thermos that set on top of the box. He had it for years, but it still looked brand new, like he washed inside and out every day. So we chipped in and bought the identical lunch box and screwed to a bench in the locker/break room. He came in and went to pick it up and freaked out," WTF did you guys do to my lunch box?" at the top of his lungs.
Another guy had a sledge hammer and said," let me get that for you henry" and smashed off the bench into a thousand pieces. I thought he was going to slaughter all of us. When the boss brought his orginal box in he was still pissed that anyone had touched his lunch box to begin with and complained about what a waste of money it was to smash the new one we bought for the prank.

487


Went out last night and got really wasted. 
I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK.

Offline River Rat

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #43 on: February 17, 2013, 06:06:03 PM »
RR..try putting a fake spider in the silverware drawer....I literally almost gave the ex Mrs Dee a heart attack with that one...as I said I have a monopoly on pranks that get you a night on the couch! haha1

Good call on the silverware drawer Dee.  I had my daughter help me set the table for breakfast this morning.  VERY effective.  haha1 haha1


Went out last night and got really wasted. 
I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK.

Offline bondkbond

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #44 on: February 18, 2013, 08:27:06 AM »
We had one of those incredibly anal retentive guys wel worked with in a steel yard. He had one of those stanly lunch boxes with the matching thermos that set on top of the box. He had it for years, but it still looked brand new, like he washed inside and out every day. So we chipped in and bought the identical lunch box and screwed to a bench in the locker/break room. He came in and went to pick it up and freaked out," WTF did you guys do to my lunch box?" at the top of his lungs.
Another guy had a sledge hammer and said," let me get that for you henry" and smashed off the bench into a thousand pieces. I thought he was going to slaughter all of us. When the boss brought his orginal box in he was still pissed that anyone had touched his lunch box to begin with and complained about what a waste of money it was to smash the new one we bought for the prank.



LOL, oh those kinda guys deserve to be messed with. Awsome!


I have a plastic rat that works well in the cupboards.

Offline bondkbond

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #45 on: February 25, 2013, 08:56:40 AM »
An easy one. Just leave the toilet seat up!

Offline DeeHawkz23

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #46 on: February 25, 2013, 06:39:37 PM »
Another easy example....call her by your exes name....that is a for sure couch ticket...
"I, too, once dabbled in Pacifism."

"In Heaven, there is no beer,  that's why we drink it here"
iowa1 chc3 chi4 min1 alabama1 We love you RJ!

Offline Peter Gozintite

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #47 on: February 25, 2013, 07:05:14 PM »
My wife will often say things like," Do you want to go to the mall with me?"
I say," Wrong question, and no!"
Will i is one thing, but i never want to do chit like that. I will, but ," Do you really want me to lie to you?"

fight started
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Offline Skydawg

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #48 on: February 26, 2013, 12:44:59 AM »
Funny thread!

Try removing the shower head from the connecting pipe
place a lifesaver or two in the pipe
and screw the shower head back on.

Its a laugh riot.

Offline Skydawg

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #49 on: February 26, 2013, 02:55:38 AM »
I find the green lifesavers work best. Somehow theyre just stickier.

Also: This would be a particulary good time for the flour in the hairdryer if you really wanna go all out.