Author Topic: How to start a fight  (Read 4780 times)

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Offline Peter Gozintite

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #75 on: April 23, 2013, 11:30:28 PM »
My wife told me that we need to save money and I should quit buying beer.  The very next day she came home from the store with over $70 worth of make up.  I said, "What the hell is this for?" and she replied "To make me look pretty".  I yelled "that's what the beer was for!"
I heard that joke a little different, but its funny either way.
What'd I miss?
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Offline outlaw007

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #76 on: April 29, 2013, 04:37:50 PM »
  I was sitting in the Family room watching TV when my wife walked in and asked "whats on TV"?  I said "Dust".

  And that's when the fight started !!!
I came into this world with nothing----and I still got most of it !!    ohiostate1

Offline DeeHawkz23

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #77 on: April 29, 2013, 06:29:30 PM »
Here's one that I plan on doing sometime this summer...

When going to the beach/water park with friends and family..crush up a couple Viagra and put them in a buddies drink....then wait for the hilarity to ensue!  Bonus points if the wife/girlfriend are also going...the squirm factor for every time a girl in a bikini walks by is well worth the payback that will most certainly be reciprocated!
"I, too, once dabbled in Pacifism."

"In Heaven, there is no beer,  that's why we drink it here"
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Offline DeeHawkz23

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #78 on: April 29, 2013, 06:31:16 PM »
r the female side of things! It's all just for fun.



Like blaming him for a front alinement after driving my car when I caused it hitting a pot hole?

Opps, just set myself up for women drivers jokes.
chic1

Luckily for anyone living in Chicago..they have a pretty good mass transit system...otherwise watch out for the lady with the "I love the Cubs" bumper sticker!  haha1
"I, too, once dabbled in Pacifism."

"In Heaven, there is no beer,  that's why we drink it here"
iowa1 chc3 chi4 min1 alabama1 We love you RJ!

Offline Canes Canes Canes

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #79 on: April 30, 2013, 10:41:06 PM »
Ever asked an overweight woman when the baby is due?  Only once for me, it was unintentional, and I felt awful for a month.  Since then I've been tempted to ask a few women the question on purpose, but was never able to plan a foolproof escape route , complete with foxhole and bunker . . .
I can't complain, and no one would listen anyway.

"All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay.  Bring me another beer.'"  --Mickey Lolich

Offline DeeHawkz23

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #80 on: April 30, 2013, 10:50:59 PM »
Ever asked an overweight woman when the baby is due?  Only once for me, it was unintentional, and I felt awful for a month.  Since then I've been tempted to ask a few women the question on purpose, but was never able to plan a foolproof escape route , complete with foxhole and bunker . . .
haha1 Ex Mrs Dee did that...she even offered some baby clothes..I did the classic look away and pretend I didn't know her...possibly a reason why she is an ex!
"I, too, once dabbled in Pacifism."

"In Heaven, there is no beer,  that's why we drink it here"
iowa1 chc3 chi4 min1 alabama1 We love you RJ!

Offline bondkbond

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #81 on: May 01, 2013, 09:08:50 AM »
 rofl

Offline handicappers

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #82 on: May 03, 2013, 08:44:11 AM »
Re: How to start a fight

You walk up to your opponent and say "Get in the Octagon" and then proceed to apply the fists of fury.
Take it to the Pwn Shop.

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Offline theJrnyconts

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #83 on: May 03, 2013, 03:50:26 PM »
My wife told me that we need to save money and I should quit buying beer.  The very next day she came home from the store with over $70 worth of make up.  I said, "What the hell is this for?" and she replied "To make me look pretty".  I yelled "that's what the beer was for!"

rofl rofl rofl
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Offline theJrnyconts

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Re: How to start a fight
« Reply #84 on: May 03, 2013, 03:51:27 PM »
Here's one that I plan on doing sometime this summer...

When going to the beach/water park with friends and family..crush up a couple Viagra and put them in a buddies drink....then wait for the hilarity to ensue!  Bonus points if the wife/girlfriend are also going...the squirm factor for every time a girl in a bikini walks by is well worth the payback that will most certainly be reciprocated!

I should do that to my friend while we're in Vegas at the pool. grin1
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